


Fuck Christmas

by topchop



Category: Billy Lenz - Fandom, Black Christmas - Fandom, Horror - Fandom, Slashers - Fandom
Genre: Dirty Talk, Gen, Phone Sex, anal mention, billy sees a hole, ga!reader, send nudes
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-06-25
Updated: 2019-06-25
Packaged: 2020-05-19 09:18:31
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,207
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19354042
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/topchop/pseuds/topchop
Summary: Christmas is a giant pain in the ass, but Billy Lenz is a pleasure.





	Fuck Christmas

Fuck Christmas.  
Fuck Christmas Eve.  
And especially, fuck the day AFTER Christmas. The loneliest night of the year, especially this one. All the presents are opened, it’s 365 days until next the Christmas, the next holiday won’t be until next year, and if you’re really unlucky, all your distant relatives will still be hanging around like the leftover cranberries from thanksgiving. This year, however, you almost wished you were at a family gathering, and not your empty, shitty little apartment. Not even your roommates were home. You were alone.  
You turned over in your bed, eyes drifting to the empty spot. The repetitive chords of Wham’s “Last Christmas” echoed in your head, and Jesus, you wished you could change the channel.  
Jesus must have heard you, because suddenly the silence was pierced by the jarring sound of your default ringtone. You shot up, turning towards your phone charging by your nightstand.  
It couldn’t be him again, right?

It started a few weeks ago, but not with you. Your close friend had texted your group chat with a screenshot of an incoming call with the caption, “anybody know who this is?” She explained that this number had been calling her at odd hours, making these awful gurgling sounds. She said it was something like a chicken being choked, in more ways than one.  
Almost like a virus, the number had begun calling the rest of your friend circle, including yourself. The moans, impressive in range, began to escalate to lewd comments. Clearly this was a prank call, likely from someone inside your friend group. The blame initially fell on your friend, but she definitely wasn’t the sort to do a prank so... sexual in nature.

It had been weeks, and you had learned to just save the contact as “the moaner,” so as not to mistakenly answer. It’s not that you hadn’t tried blocking him, it was the first thing you’d done. But somehow, he managed to get ahold of a new number each time. Better to just ignore him, at least he wasn’t texting you.  
But now, with an entire day of being lonely to look foreword to, you felt tempted to answer. Hey, worst case scenario, you won’t be bored.  
You swiped left.  
“Hel-“  
Immediately you were cut off by a sharp gasp, almost as if he was shocked you finally picked up. He paused briefly, before launching into his usual moaning act, although this time you could sense a bit more ham involved, almost like it stroked his ego that you finally caved in to his calls.  
“Don’t you have anything better to do?”  
The call went silent.  
His voice took on a much deeper, scratchier tone. His soft whispers replaced by a menacing growl. You almost thought somebody else got on the line, but it was clearly just him.  
“Yeah, I could shove my tongue up your fat ass!”  
You gaped, unable to come up with a retort to that. It was the first time he had responded to you, usually he just kept on... well, moaning.  
He continued verbally describing sexual acts.  
“I’m gonna lick ya until you’re sore all over!”  
“I’m gonna shove my cock down your throat!”  
“I’m gonna bend you over and I’m gonna stick my cock so far up your ass they’ll call it fellatio!”  
“At least let me know your name before you fuck me,” you said in a teasing tone.  
Clearly he was getting off by harassing you, maybe by harassing him right back you could blueball him. At least, that’s why you were asking, you told yourself.  
He came to another screeching halt, and you could hear his ragged breaths, the way he was in the beginning of the phone call.  
“B-...”  
You heard a gulp, and then a shiver. It sounded like he needed water.  
“Billy,” he said, in an almost apologetic tone. He kept gasping, like he was drowning.  
“Well Billy,” you paused, trying to think of something nasty enough to say, “do you top or do you bottom?”  
He gasped, sputtering. You thought you heard him drop his phone. “I.. wh-“  
“Y’know, do you give or do you take?”  
“I...” he shifted back into his deep voice again, although it seemed a bit... smaller. “I give, and I take, and I take, and I ta-“  
“Are you a virgin?”  
“WHAT!?”  
You clasped a hand over your mouth to suppress your laughter. Gosh, he could be cute when flustered.  
“Are YOU a virgin!?” He was growling again, and it was cut up by small gasps and grunts, as well as a telltale squeaking noise. “I’ll make sure you’re not, I’ll fuck you until your hole’s swollen, I’ll fuck you all night...”  
You made a conscience decision to throw away what little dignity you had left. Fuck it, it was (the day after) Christmas, and if he was getting pleasure out of this then you might as well too. You reached into your nightstand, taking out a small tube o’ lube. Billy didn’t notice the noises, he was too busy going on about how tight your hypothetical hole was.  
You squeezed some onto two fingers, and the bottle made a loud SPLAT! And for a second, just a millisecond, he paused. Almost as if he caught on, but he had dismissed it, and continued.  
You reached down, and gently began to tease your entrance, your mind beginning to imagine the things he was describing.  
“Then, I’ll carry you to the sofa, and I’ll bend you over it, and I’ll fuck you until you’re screaming into the pillow-“  
“Nmgh!!”

Dead silence.  
He didn’t bounce back.  
You chuckled nervously, but was only met with his deep breaths.  
“You haven’t ever seen genitals before have you.”  
He whimpered out the meekest “no” you’ve heard in a long time.  
You sighed, resigning yourself to some charity work.  
“Does your phone have FaceTime?”  
“...yes!!”  
“Call me back.”  
He immediately hung up, and FaceTimed you back. You quickly disabled your camera after answering, he didn’t need to see you yet. He, however, did not.  
That didn’t mean you could see him.

He was a tall, shadowy figure, in an unlit room. His hands were at his side, he had probably propped up his phone. You couldn’t make out any detail... except for one, unnerving eye. A beam of light almost perfectly framed his left eye, which at the moment looked incredibly nervous. Despite his shadowy presence, you knew it wasn’t anyone from your college, and thus felt safe turning on the camera. You gave him a smirk.  
He jumped, stepping back a bit. He stood nervously, before creeping closer. You could now make out some vague details, the dark brown of his hair, which framed his skin, a dirty-ish yellow. His eyes, dark brown, washed over your face, curious and admiring. “P... pretty...” he mumbled out.  
You smiled, and flipped the camera to front view. You removed the blankets.

“WAOW!!” He screamed out, and then immediately hung up.

You nearly dropped the phone laughing. For someone with such a dirty mouth, he sure was inexperienced.

Then, you received a text message. It was short, and to the point.

“Thanks.”

You smiled, and typed a response.

“anytime, moaner ❤️”

Your phone rang.

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading, remember to leave kudos if you got this far. Requests are open.


End file.
